Kia ora friends!
I intended to send this out last month but it's taken me a while! I've had a magical start to 2018, life has been full of fun and adventures with travel and doing my thing at festivals, and so much love and healing. I've got so much coming up too! Next month I will be in Bali for 30 days, singing at the Bali Spirit Festival and joining my Loving Vibes Soul Family at Akasha to share in a night of Cacao Ceremony bliss, Divine Mantras & Matiu Te Huki's dance floor magic.
I've also been reminded of how this life is so precious with the recent passing of a beautiful man in our community, Jason Corliss. It reminds me that our time is now, it inspires me to live fully, love unconditionally and enjoy the magic that we have been gifted in this human experience called life. I loved Jase, he had the biggest heart filled up and overflowing with love and compassion and it truly radiated and rippled out to us all and I'm so grateful to him for the inspiration he has gifted us, and for the delicious big hugs he dished up to us all.
We are so lucky to be here!
Latest Blog - Accepting What is:
I've realized that I often speak about letting go of all that no longer serves us. But what about when we need to let go of something that does serve us? Something we don't want to let go of but we need to anyway? I think that's even tougher than letting go of that which no longer serves us. This is what I've been enduring the past couple of months and it has been an interesting and sometimes rough ride.
Two things happened simultaneously: I had to transition from sharing my two big kids with their Dad fortnightly to sharing them week on/week off, and in the same week my intimate relationship came to an end. The next thing that happened - and took me by surprise - was grief. The first time I dropped my kids off for the week, I sobbed all the way home, and then some more. I didn't expect it and I didn't see it coming. I'd known for a year that this was going to happen, and actually, despite wanting to keep them all to myself, I was happy for my kids because they were excited about our sharing arrangement. But regardless of the fact that the kids are so loved and happy, I still felt this overwhelming wave of grief. The waves kept rolling and I just kept riding them.
I also had an unexpected deep sense of loss as soon as my intimate relationship ended. I didn't realize I would feel this way, as I knew it had a time limit due to life circumstances - and we had open communication about this the whole time. But it was just so beautiful and yummy and my heart was bursting with love for this man. When we decided the time had come to end it, my heart hurt as it tried to close down its love for him. And the grieving began.
I can usually move through this stuff pretty quickly. This time I struggled more than usual. I didn't want to let go of my kids, or being in love. I really liked having these in my every day life!! Big changes all at once, and trying to navigate the way forward was interesting to say the least. I've got to a place now where although I still want these in my life, I've learned to accept what is. I was trying to 'let go' of my feelings, it didn't seem to work, so instead I shifted my focus to accepting what is. Which was much easier for me.
I'm lucky in that sense as I have built a beautiful strong foundation in my life of faith. Faith in the unknown, faith in what will be, faith that I'm in exactly the right place at the right time, and faith that the universe has something magical planned for me. I have a quote on one of my walls that says 'new beginnings are often disguised as painful endings'. So true. This reminder helps me shift my focus, new beginnings with a blank canvas excite me. What magic lays before me????
So here I am, back in my bliss bubble, still with (and comfortably allowing) love in my heart for the man I was seeing, still missing my big kids every time they are at their Dads for a week - but at peace with both of these things because my heart is open again and full up. And I'm here, grateful, so so grateful that I had my kiddies almost full time until now, and I experienced the depth of love, connection and communication that I did in my intimate relationship. Now what universe?! I'm grateful for what I've been dished up so far... can't wait to see what's next new and shiny! Something wonderful always always follows the hard lessons when you choose to surrender and learn from what is, and I feel it coming!!
Tools I use:
Shifting my focus is a tool that I use and play round with. I love to remind myself and others that a miracle can be a simple shift in perception. It's true. And it has been my lifeline many times. Sometimes it takes saying something out loud in a safe space, or writing it down, or giving yourself some time and space so you can step back and observe what's really going on. I'm also aware that there is no right or wrong, but if we tune in to our intuition, we can be guided on the path that serves us best.
Life happens, gratefully! If I'm ever struggling, I look at a photo of my sister who passed away last year, and remind myself how lucky I am to be here, to be well, to have a blank canvas in front of me, freedom, and to be surrounded and filled up with love. Life is so precious, it's a gift. This reminds me of my passions, my purpose, it motivates me to keep reaching out for the stars and to notice how sparkley every single day is when we choose to see it. It's the good that I can take from rough times. Remind yourself of all of which you have to be grateful for, we are so abundant with blessings - don't forget that. Write them down and carry them with you, read them every day and say thank you, no matter what else is going on.
Once again, remembering that absolutely everything is only temporary in life always helps. It feels like forever when we are in a dark room searching for the doorway out - but at least there is a door! Remember that, and remember that every other time you have been in that dark room - you found the doorway out. I also remind myself that every single thing, situation or circumstance on my life journey has brought me to this very moment - and I've had 100% success rate at surviving it all!! Obstacles in life are detours in the right direction (I love that quote:-).
Keeping my heart open was a challenge for me during this time. Most of the time it's naturally open and I feel all loved up - I keep my (self) love tank full and overflowing (with my daily self-love practices). But when it comes to the big stuff and it's afraid of hurting, I feel it starting to automatically shut down - which is exactly why it hurts. We are born with an open heart, it's natural, it's our true state. Our hearts want to stay open, they want to be in a state of loving bliss, but something happens in some situations that triggers the closing of our hearts. And it is usually in an attempt to protect ourselves, often triggered by past events, or ego, but actually, nothing hurts more than a closed heart, after all our number one desire is to love and be loved... this requires our hearts to stay open and keep loving no matter what is going on.
This is the biggest challenge in these situations-to keep our hearts open and keep pouring love into every situation. Practicing self love is so essential in our every day lives. It helps us to embrace our inner strength, our minds become quieter, we feel content and at peace, and our hearts open and feel safe. Staying in the moment and surrendering to what is right now, is what opens up our doorway to manifesting our desires, now is so powerful, it's the only time and space we have where we can do this.
Faith leads us into the excitement of the unknown where we can dance with our dreams and blossom into our full potential. Self love has no conditioning, no programming, it's simply here and now, with unconditional love. So right now, ask yourself "how can I love you best today?" Ask yourself this question every day. It's a beautiful way to connect with yourself, to check in, to be mindful and to honor yourself by listening. Nurture yourself, and love yourself, knowing that the only person you can guarantee you will spend the rest of your life with is you. No matter what is going on around you, remember - This life is precious, keep doing the things that fill your heart up with love and joy. That is your practice, and that is your key to peace and healing. 💜
I wrote this song below during this time (See on Youtube: https://youtu.be/vMYydZCEaww )
In the Darkness
I found my Light
I travelled inward for the winter
I learnt to keep myself warm
I embraced the darkness
Opened my arms to the storm
It felt never-ending
But those days have gone
Now I bask in the Sunshine
That was behind the clouds all along
In the Darkness
I found my Light
I had a man in the winter
He kept my heart warm
I learnt lessons upon lessons
And I'm grateful for them all
We shared in such beauty
The universe sent me a treat
But we had to let each other go
He wasn't mine to keep
But in the Darkness
I found my Light